THE REALITY OF BEEN AN ORPHAN.
“The first orphan I knew in this world was I.”- Reuben Griffiths Bekoe
The lyrics of Ramblers International’s *Agyanka dabre have finally made me aware that been an orphan is a reality and not a fiction. I loved that song before I became an orphan though I couldn’t understand it very well until I lived the life of one. I remember that night of 26 April, 2005. That Tuesday evening was one of my worst nights in my 20 years living history, who would have thought my very strong dad will leave the house on Monday for hospital and never return…… It was very hard to take, for the moment. OMG the worse I least expected happen! How on earth can I lose my root in a space of 365 days? If indeed it was a movie I would’ve asked the producer to change my script in no time so I can at least spend some few scenes with them. When the death of my mother happened (July 1st 2006) I thought I was watching a nollyhood movie( that time Ghanaian movies wasn’t at its peak, lol) then I remembered names like Peter Odoche and Patience Ozokor and the life I am going to live with them but HEY! My ‘family members made me feel like is going to be the next president of my country, Ghana with all those assurance and security to be there for me.
≫≫Fast forward: After the burial of my parents that’s when I began to feel the cold hands of life during the *hamattan season. Then my old friend (the song lyrics) revisited me again but this time very loud and clear, I could hear Ramblers telling “Egya bi wu aa, Egya bi tse ase, s3 y3 kaa, y3 di dada 3yisia…” [When a father dies, there’s a father alive, that’s said to comfort the mourners] yes I agree very well with them on that lyrics. As at the time am writing this, I have NEVER heard or known the person who inherited my father as custom demands.
THE REALITIES AND LIFE; I am not writing depicting all orphans live like I did and have but MAJORITY live my life or some are even worse than mine. If you even lose a parent and someone promises to be the best person you’ve lost, that’s a complete lie. I lived in illusion until I was hit with the bitter truth when an uncle told me I shouldn’t address him as dad which I ever regret but to call him an uncle which I think that’s our end.
*I use to wake up around 4 am to go to the farm of my old woman to uproot cassava to sell it to the *chop bars before I can get money to go to school. Yea I did that though never liked it at first because of the better life I once lived but as the person I am, I saw positive from every negative in my life. That dawn wake ups helped me to wake up dawns during my secondary days and so many ways.
* I use to walk to school after I have sold my cassava at the rail side so I can have some extra money at school. I walked from Kojokrom to Sekondi (Lol I knew every shortcuts. I pass through Essikado then hola am at west ridge) this helped me how to manage time and stayed strong and healthy.
*The security and love were missing! There were times I wish I could whisper some things into my father’s hear but he was nowhere to be found. The worst part was during Secondary school where during my 4-year stay on Shama land I had no family member visiting me or attending P.T.A meetings. There I learned to live for myself and protect myself. Not one of the best experience to talk about but most orphans lack that self-confidence which I was a victim, that moment you feel shy of yourself, you hate those who talk about their parent and the question you wouldn’t want to answer is “So where are your parents?” that question can let you down for your whole day. What annoys most is when you introduce one family member as your mother or father and the time comes to tell the person the truth, you feel like you have lied to the person all his life and you will feel ashamed.
My life as an orphan doesn’t come with negatives alone dear, I have enjoyed some positives. I love the life I have lived a living and I am hoping things gets better soon. Not saying all my family members rejected and neglected me, NO, but the ones I felt they should never did so I define family as “Those who value you, love, except you and want you to be in their lives and them in yours. They see the tear behind your weak smile.” I have always tried to let the things that I can overcome hold me back in life I make what hurt me becomes hurtled.
What most orphans’ battle with in our society is the family especially when the parent had some little money left for these kids. I was about 11 years old when my father and mother died so I had no authority or idea about what they had for me. But God been well they lived a good life that I benefited from. I used my mother’s benefits from SNNIT for my secondary education which wasn’t enough but I had some support from few family members to enable me complete my 4 year high school education which most orphans wouldn’t get the opportunity.
My father didn’t die a pauper, God forbid! Thankfully he died as a metropolitan surveyor so he had some wealth that I can use to further my education but the problem is, the documents I will need to claim these monies are with his family members and are not willing to give to me or aid me that’s why am still not in school but that doesn’t bother me but it worries me because I need to get at least some formal education. Readers have you asked yourself the number of people who are facing these kinds of problems and are not getting this platform to let it out? Who will be the mouth piece of these people? The orphans need help. Who would’ve been blamed if I took to arms to rob due to the hardship for the world lived a negative life. Who are we blaming for the most street kids on our streets? Yes it not your responsibility to care for someone’s child but it’s your duties to show love and support. I have lived the life of an orphan and yes it’s a reality and not a pleasant one. No one sees you as an orphan unless you succeed before they want to celebrate with you.
*Never give up because God have never given me the chance to doubt him.
*My life is how I live it. I stir to my progress or downfall.
*Ask for advice and learn new things. See positive from the negative.
*Everything can be done when you believe
Thank you for reading. If there is anything you wish to ask me, please leave it in the comment box.